So the summer has past and I have finally been told I have til the week of November 11th-15th until my mother leaves me (i know I'm selfish). It feels like she tapped out awhile ago though and at the same time the closer it gets the more distraught I become. I have no one without my momma. No one who sees me the way she sees me. Its my everything...what am I supposed to do? How do I let go?
Even when she disappoints me or frustrates me to high heaven I love her. She's my mom. She's going to miss out on so much and how do I cope with that? I survived the divorce, finding out about my biological father, a new marriage, the loss of my first child, becoming the black sheep of a family, many other deaths, a suicide attempt, my bipolar diagnosis and many other hardships because my mother was by my side...how will I survive without her here?
I have no one who truly understands or who will let me even get my fears off my chest and try to console me. I'm so lost right now and no one sees.
