Little Boys

Being the mom to three little boys I am mostly out of my comfort zone to say the least. I have learned that boys are different than girls, in a way that I hadn't realized before, duh right!?!

Boy like to play hard...girls pretend hard

Boys roughhouse...girls play house

Boys eat any and everything....girls have tea

Boys kick, throw and build/stack their toys...girls play house

So many differences, some similarities...but the things that throw me off most of all are the innocent statements made by my four year old regarding his...well...balls. We're not talking play things here, no footballs, basketballs or baseballs...no these are the male genitalia, also known as balls

Recently as my oldest was reviewing his anatomy book, that he's looked at many time before, he comes to the reproductive organs and feels it necessary to say, "See mom, these are my balls and my peepee." As he points to the picture. I acknowledge and agree. The part that throws me is when he takes off his underwear and says and demonstrates, "See THESE are my BALLS, and when I pull them they hurt and then they don't."

I about lose it...but retain my composure and say, "Yes, son, please don't touch them...you don't need to, I see." He lets it go and then I ask my husband how I should respond in such a situation. Being a girl...we don't usually do this type of thing...I know he's curious and figuring things out. I know that this is natural and I know there will come a time for a lesson in self discipline, at four it's not that time just yet. So how is a mom to respond. My husband says, "Just tell him daddy will talk to him."HT's interest has moved on and there's no need to say this.

When my husband gets home he does have a talk....it is straight and to the point...it is NOT something a mother would ever say, but coming from daddy seems perfectly natural and HT takes it in stride. The subject has not come up again THANK GOD...when it does I hope I am better prepared. Little ones sometimes catch us off guard and we have to improvise more than we are sometimes prepared for....I am so very thankful that I have my husband by my side to help me in these awkward moments. I fear if I didn't I'd simply make an ass of myself...boys and girls are different in more than one area and I am praying that I am able to raise our boys with the compassion that women carry within themselves, a sense of nurturing and being aware of others emotions but without turning them into momma's boys...I am hoping to raise them to be strong, independent, courageous and the "rocks" that they will need to be in their own families. This momma does not want to raise sissy, Lilly-livered wusses! But Lord help me, I've no idea of all things that make up little boys, I'm learning though and it is an adventure!

...I Used to Know

Somebody that I used to know
        by, GOTYE

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end, always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough
No you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now you're just somebody that I used to know
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Now and then I think of all the times you screwed me over
Part of me believing it was always something that I'd done
But I don't wanna live that way
Reading into every word you say
You said that you could let it go
And I wouldn't catch you hung up on somebody that you used to know

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and I feel so rough
And you didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

Somebody
(I used to know)
Somebody
(Now you're just somebody that I used to know)

(I used to know)
(That I used to know)
(I used to know)
Somebody

A Dream

Sometimes in life time passes by so quickly that it seems to be nothing more than a dream. Did that moment really happen...was it really you. The 'you' having grown, matured and become a different reflection of the 'you' in your youth.

I've slowly been reconnecting with my friends from my youth. We all remember the most amazing and sometimes embarrassing moments...some even that do not reflect the best of ourselves even from the 'we were just kids' perspective. But we also remember some moments that we all simply cherish.

It's amazing to reflect with these people because life choices have led us all to where we currently reside in life. Most of us have kids, some have been married and sadly divorced, some have never known anything other than their career in an effort to get to their 'goal' in life. Regardless of these choices we are where we are and it amazes me that we can (for the most part) pick up right where we left off like nothing ever changed. We still consider ourselves friends even after so much time has past.

I cherish all of these people. Some made more of an impact then others for sure..for example three friends when I was 12 were there the night I had my first kiss. It was my birthday weekend, they came to the Valley with me and we went out to the movies, snuck into another movie (kind of) and hung out with four boys we'd just met...Gorgie was his name and these three other friends literally witnessed my first kiss. Then back at my moms we stayed up even later smoking in my bedroom closet or the bathroom. There are others who just briefly passed by me in my youth but now we share the births of our children, the heartache of marriages that didn't last and all the hardships and joys that come with motherhood. Every person made an impact, small or large, that got me to where I am.

There are those in life that despite the 'dream effect' stand out for each of us. Any kind of first for sure; first kiss, first relationship, the one who deflowered, first heartache, first marriage (hopefully only), first baby, etc. There are also those people that you think of regularly, wondering where life has led them...if they are okay, best friends, those we go to in a pinch. So on and so on...

In a dream we can live a lifetime...in a lifetime we may live many or our time may be short. I strongly feel that our connections to our youth can travel with us into our present/future selves and many times reveal to us an even deeper understanding of who we are. I have had many chance encounters that may have, if I'd made a different choice, led me down a different path. I am thankful for where I've been and the choices I've made, even the mistakes, because it has led me to here and I have NO REGRETS!

I'll keep on dreaming...