I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.

When will I learn to keep my big mouth shut? All I want in life is to be understood, yet each time I say what is on my mind...well it just comes out wrong or maybe it comes out right but the response is not what I want to hear. I want for someone to ask me more than, "How are you". Because the answer I almost always give is I'm fine. And I am fine or good most days, but there is so much more to who I am than how I am.

My days are filled with Mommy things. Wake up, change diapers, make breakfast, clean up breakfast, change diapers, play, clean up toys, make lunch, pay bills, clean up lunch, change diapers, lay the kids down for naps, maybe take a break and read or play on the computer or housework, kids wake up, change diapers, have a snack, clean up the snack, play, pick up toys, comfort the crying, make dinner, watch some tv, maybe clean up dinner, go to bed and for the most part repeat.

But this is not what defines me, these are just things I do. I am emotionally deprived at the moment. Not that I am without feeling only that I have no outlet for what I feel. I don't know how to remedy this problem...today at least. Instead I continue to chug along and have some glimmer of hope that the answer will smack me in the head.

Until then, I guess I'll try to learn to hold my tongue. Someone please, pass the cherry!