Picky Picky

The recent battle in my house especially with my three-year-old has been when/what/how he eats. I was raised in a house where you cleaned your plate whether you liked what was put in front of you or not. I once spent an hour at the table chewing on what my father thought was a piece of steak, but turned out to be a piece of gristle that was not getting any smaller despite my constant chewing and was too big for me to just swallow...eventually I was allowed to spit it in the garbage and get up from said table. We were also taught manners when it came to family meals...say may I be excused when finished eating before taking your plate to the kitchen sink; pass the salt, pepper, bread etc and don't just reach across the table for something you want that is not directly in front of you; may I have more, please, thank you etc; don't fight or argue, use your silverware and your napkin or paper towel...and never, ever horse around or stick your hand in a cup for a piece of ice.

Now that I am a mom I value most of these lessons even if I don't force all of them on my own children at their current young ages. I believe there is a set time for meals and a separate time in between for a snack. I don't think my children should walk around with a sippy cup all day long filling up on fluids so that they are full when it comes time to actually eat. I try to maintain some consistency with the time of day that we have breakfast, lunch and dinner...however, we are flexible when our day is thrown a curve ball and things come up. In this day and age I see many styles of parenting...in many instances the child is the dictator and the parent the slave who does whatever the kid says...this saddens me immensely and I hope our Heavenly Father is merciful to these parents when it comes time to answer for their offspring's souls.

That said I'm sure that I am in between being strict and being lenient...some things I'm stricter on and some I'm more lax...I try to big and choose my battles with my little ones so that they aren't throwing tantrums or being scolded 24/7. When it comes to meals I usually give my Hadrien a choice in what he would like to eat...for breakfast: oatmeal or eggs...eggy toast or pancakes...french toast or breakfast burritos. For lunch: grilled cheese or peanut butter and jelly...quesadillas or pizza bites...bean and cheese burritos or egg salad sandwiches. And then for dinner he gets to eat what we all as a family are eating and most of the time he even helps my to prepare and/or make the meal.

The battle which we are faced with more often than not these days happens because of his age I'm sure...he'll request eggs for instance and I make them, place them in front of him, and he proceeds to get down from the table, plate untouched. I remind him that he asked for eggs and that if doesn't eat them then he will have to wait til lunch before he gets anything else to eat. He doesn't eat, I let breakfast sit there for an hour before consuming it myself, giving it to his brother or throwing it out and proceeds to request snacks throughout the morning, I stick to my guns and he waits.

Lunch time comes he request grilled cheese, I make it, put it in front of him and the same thing as before happens again. He doesn't eat, I give no snacks and make him wait for dinner the whole afternoon he's saying he's hungry and I remind him he should have eaten his lunch.

When I put dinner in front of him one of two things happens: he either takes one look at it and says "Hai, no like it." to which I respond, "take a bite and if you still don't like it then I'll fix you something else." He either takes the bite, realizes its yummy and gobbles it up or repeats that he doesn't like it and gets down from the table OR he takes a nibble and then says he's full. I'm beyond frustrated at this point since he hasn't had anything to eat all day, but I know it will do no good to try and force feed him and I also know he is well fed most of the time and so one day won't kill him...it still frustrates me though.

For now it's trying...I know all children eat when they are truly hungry and mine is in no way starved or neglected, this is his choosing to walk around with an empty belly and of course he eventually does eat...guess I'm learning to be patient with the fact that I can't make someone eat if they don't want to. At least in a couple more years I'll be able to just say...