It's a new year, 2011 and my start has been...well...
bumpy to say the least.
My husband and my two young boys have been ill since Christmas Eve, come to find out they are all suffering from ailments that have to do with their lungs. Bronchitis & sinusitis for the older, RSV & a double ear infection for the middle & just plain RSV for the youngest. I am surprised that I have not been afflicted with any germs since I have been stuck in the house with them all. I am also exhausted.
It's not easy being the only one with decent health in a home full of sick people. I don't know how others do it. Between feedings, diaper changes, delivering medications, giving baths, wiping noses, etc I am lucky to use the restroom & enjoy a cup of coffee at nap time. It's not just the physical parts that are exhausting, it also weighs heavily on my mind and emotional state. I worry that the coughs aren't getting better (so it seems) and what this may mean; if anything. I wonder about the regular chores I've yet to accomplish and just how backed up I'll be once everyone is better.
Then there is the monetary aspect that has entered the picture after a trip to the ER and two doctor visits; knowing full well that health insurance benefits just renewed and we have a large deductible to once again cover out of pocket. Not to mention regular bills, tuition for my husband, the car registration that is due in less than a week, a fence that needs to be repaired (after a storm back in October the fence didn't make it and we've yet to have the work completed; long story), a car that is leaking oil and needs to be fixed...you see I hate money and it's hard enough when we're already on a budget (a tight one), we don't have much debt (but enough), and getting ends to meet is a fun, tight rope act each month...let alone when the unforeseen happens and suddenly you're left with not much of anything. Oh, the stress.
So here I sit...a lot going on for the beginning of a new year and the life we've struggled to create for ourselves and then maintain which isn't lavish but comfortable, seems to be slowly unraveling around me. I'm sure the Lord has a plan in all this, maybe we're not meant to live comfortably, maybe we need to struggle (I'm not sure). I need to trust in Him that He is providing for us and will continue to do so.
I guess in this unraveling I will have a new beginning, a tradition to start, which will be to start a God box, any stresses or worries or prayers that need to be said will be written down and put in the box and after that I will not allow myself to fret over it anymore since I will have offered it up to the Lord. In this act may I remember that I am not alone and that we are being cared for. Maybe I can even offer this to others struggling and it can offer us all some peace. See there is a silver lining after all.
OK 2011, bring it on...my Lord and I have got this! :)
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